My Draconity - A Dragon in Spirit
I was born awakened to my draconity, always having an inner knowing and feeling of what I was. However, I would
say I had my spiritual awakening sometime in 2007 when I discovered draconity. As I said, there was always the
feeling within me, this part of myself that has been interlaced with my personality and actions outside of my control, something that told me I was other than human; that I was dragon. The more I introspected and thought about what I was feeling, how I felt that I should feel, nothing seemed to quite fit better than calling my experience a dragon one.
There was something inside that always told me I was not human. I don't think there was a time I ever believed I was in fact. Physically, I know I was born into this human vessel of course, but deep down I knew there was more. I can remember as early as my childhood believing that I was "secretly a dragon". It is the form I took in my dreams, what I travelled as in my thoughts, the shape of my soul and everything I ever was. I felt I should have claws, that I should have a long snout filled with rows of sharp teeth; that I should have a long tail and two great wings that could carry me wherever I wanted. When I was home I played on the rocks and in the woods, feeling like myself, like I was a dragon though trapped in this human skin.
When I was alone I was a dragon. I could be myself and did not have to act like a human for others. I could bask on the hot rocks outside, or even lay out on the pavement. Other times I spent a lot with reptiles, and became very close to them. I know I am not quite an earthen reptile, but it was nice to have other creatures similar to myself to engage with. They felt more like family to me then any humans. I could relate to them much better too. I always felt like I was cold blooded. I am always very cold even when it is warm out. I used to always say if its under 80F I'm not going outside. I would even wear sweatshirts in 90F degree weather. People thought it was weird that I would wear black hoodies out in the sun when it was so hot out! For me though, I liked being really hot, otherwise I was too cold.
On days I am outside I can feel the wind blow against my wings. Even with the slightest breeze, I felt them shift on my back and catch it within the membrane. This was one of my first recognized phantom limbs. They were one of the biggest reasons I liked to be outside where I could stretch them out comfortably. I remember at school we had a thing before lunch called walk/run, where all the students would have to do a lap around the school, whenever we went out my wings would perk up. Running to me always felt as close as I could get to flying. Particularly if it involved running up or a down a slope. Eventually as I got older, this would evolve to rollercoasters, and then later to driving. My phantom body will swallow the vehicle and I'll feel as if I'm propelling myself with my wings.
When considering my personal belief's on why I feel I am this way, being a spiritual oriented person about the universe and where we all fit within it, I sought this out through meditation, soul searching, dreaming, and the astral. Although, despite this, even if proven false, I would still yet identify as a dragon in some way, as I am what I am without needing a reason. At my truest core, I know that I am an incarnated astral dragon however. I never see this being something science will ever be able to reach in my time here.
From what I have introspected and meditated on for several years, I have come to believe my draconity derives from my spiritual origin as a dragon from the cosmic astral dimension. This is what I know as the origin of my soul, the first blink of my existence. As a cosmic astral dragon I incarnate into many different biengs, living life thrugh the eyes of my vessel to learn and gain many experiences. Therefore I believe that I have also lived many other lives throughout the multiverse. However, the form of my core being is and will always be a dragon; it is what I am at the heart and soul of my current vessel.
-Zaphaera